Black and White Dating Tips for the African American Male

Have you always been attracted to white women? Maybe it's your ultimate fantasy. But all the stereotypes of super cocky black men easily seducing white women may be psyching you out. Maybe you're a little shy or just don't have the "flair" that other black men have when they hit on white girls. Not to worry, here are a few biracial dating tips that will help you regardless of looks and confidence.

1.There's no need for you to be a player.

Somehow, society got the idea of successful black man and "player" all confused—as if a black man should be the life of the party and a womanizer. Wrong! These are stereotypes and if that's not who you are, there's no need to become that character just to please other people. Be yourself but the best and most confident version of your true self.

2.Accept that some white women won't like you…but some will.

Men really should let go of the marketing concept of "Seduce anyone, anytime!" because it's just feasible in real life. There are going to be some women out there that just aren't buying what you're selling! Maybe she doesn't want to date a black man. Or maybe she just has issues with you personally. Big deal. Move on! Rejection is just a part of life and it shouldn't rob you of confidence. You are still very attractive to a large population of women, rest assured.

3.Always be kind and a gentleman. It helps in protecting your reputation.

It's easy to tease a woman, to flirt, and to be funny. But sometimes the real test of a man is how he treats women after the laughter dies down. Are you respectful of them? Because really, you have nothing to lose by being gracious, kind and gentlemanly. Being rude, cold, distant or ungrateful is just asking for trouble in this day and age.

One reason why it's particularly smart to be kind and not sassy is because some women will NOT be okay with your choices. Sometimes black women are resentful towards black men who only date whites. Sometimes even your own family can give you lip!

If you sense conflict and then add fuel to the fire by giving her attitude, you're just going to make an enemy. Be mature about it. Say you respectfully disagree and will make your own choices in life. As long as you treat your sisters kindly, your reputation will be protected.

4.Don't get drawn into the "status" game.

Some black men make the mistake of dating a white woman as if it's some kind of show of status or success. But this is a stupid idea that's been perpetuated by the media—and frankly it can be harmful to a young black man who is a little naive and inexperienced in dating.

Don't go for a "trophy wife" trying to prove something to society or yourself. Don't minimize the importance of personality, compatibility, shared values and lifestyles and other important "inward" qualities. Don't exchange these inner qualities for beauty and sex appeal.

It's fairly common for men to fall in love right away once they feel an emotional connection with a woman. So keep a good head on your shoulders, so to speak. This means that you even if you're completely incompatible with someone, you might not notice until months after the thrill of sex wears off.

Make sure you like a woman's personality and will be happy with her in the long-run before rushing into a commitment.

Follow these tips and you'll have a good, emotionally satisfying romance and not just a series of empty flings.

Dating White Women Awkward Conversations To Avoid

"Do you have any black in you?"

This is the conversation you have in the club when you spot her across the bar and approach her. After you ask her "Do you have any black in you?" she answers, "No." And you say, "Do you want some?"

Joking about race can be a fun and easy way to break the ice. But use at your own risk — especially with somebody you don't yet know. And besides, it's not like she didn't already notice you were black. If corny pick up lines like these are the best you can do, it may be a while before you're able to date anybody of any race.

"Am I the first brother you've been with?"

Curiosity about previous partners can quickly turn into an unhealthy obsession. This, of course, is not unique to black men dating white women. But things can get even crazier than usual if you follow things down a racial path. Let the past stay in the past.

"Don't touch my hair!"

Yes, there will be times when those who haven't spent much time around folks of color can get curious about some strange things. They may want to know if your skin color rubs away or what happens when your hair gets wet. Getting overly sensitive about these kinds of things is not a good idea. Black women have been known to get uneasy when asked about hair, but given the long and complicated history of black women and hair issues, that makes a strange kind of sense. But dude, what's your excuse?

"When do I get to meet your parents?"

Be patient with this one. She may be waiting for the right time make the announcement. Given that "Mom, dad… I'd like to to meet Shamir" is still a difficult announcement to make. Don't assume she's ashamed or interested in keeping you a secret. Although if you're still asking that question after you've been married for years, that would be a bad sign.

"Maybe you shouldn't meet my mama just yet."

A similar announcement may be difficult for you to make. Let her know that the time for such an announcement will come… eventually.


There are no secret rules to dating women, but on the other hand, it wouldn't be accurate to say that dating white women is no different that dating any other women. In a society like ours where race matters quite a bit, it would be naive to think your approach should be the same with all women. But in the end, you still have to remember that you're not dating a race of people, but a person who happens to belong to a race.

Now that you have all the information that you need take a look at our Top Interracial Dating Sites list to get started on your quest.